You are not healthier than me so stfu!

Ever since I threw myself into this health and fitness world I have been overwhelmed with the amount of information and opinions on how to lose weight, gain muscle and overall be healthy.  Then I decided to stop listening to other people and do what my coach says. Shit, I pay her enough to do the thinking for me why would I not listen to her?  But lately it seems like as I get closer to the show more opinions are starting to surface and it is quite freaking annoying.

Let’s get one thing out of the way…do I believe that the diet, supplements and meal plan is the best way to get in shape or even competition ready?  No, but if I did it my way, the way that has been failing me for years, I would still be a little buffless baby.  My long-term goal is to live a life with muscles and good health that is accomplish naturally.  A lot goes into this prep that I don’t consider natural or necessarily agree with, but I know nothing about my body, nutrition or this sport.  So right now I am doing it the way it has always been done, the way that has been successful for many people and when I learn more about everything I will try to reinvent the wheel and do it my way naturally.

With that said I am so sick of hearing people protest and argue on what is considered “healthy”.  You google any topic on health and you will find numerous articles that are for and against it; it is never ending.

Being plant-based is the best. No animal protein is the best.

No, we shouldn’t be consuming other animal milk, but wait..we need calcium.

Whey? Soy? Soy is bad, but no, soy is good?

Dairy is bad. Meat is bad. Fish is bad, but some times good.

Good god, shut the hell up!

EVERYTHING IS BAD AND GOOD!

Gluten -free? What the hell is gluten and why are we freeing it?

I just can’t keep up!

The problem isn’t that there is one best diet, the problem is that everything we have grown up with is so processed that science is finally catching up to these allergies and diseases. So shut the hell up about other people’s damn diet and just do what is best for you and what your body needs.  Stop preaching about “x” and other cancer causing foods.  Please tell me, what doesn’t cause cancer?

What kills me is people get stuck one issue. They will parade around about how soy is bad because it is linked to breast cancer and criticize you for it for even considering it in your coffee. Um sweetie, what happened to smoking, alcohol, or better yet how about using a tanning bed or not wearing sun screen every single day? How about the Advil you take to relieve pain?  You don’t think that has long term side effects? What about all the chemicals you rub all over your body; lotion, nail polish, make up, spray tans, deodorant, shampoos, conditioner…etc.  Our skin is the largest organ and it absorbs so much so get over your soy or the one health fact you think you are educated on.  If you want to limit certain things in your diet, please do; I applaud you for even taking that step. But being stuck on one issue does not make you healthier than anyone else when you still douse yourself in toxicity daily which increases risk of any serious health issue. Plus, how much you want to bet that your one green smoothie in the morning will only last a few weeks?

What is the point of this rant? My point is to just shut the F up. If one day we wake up and eating elephant poop is scientifically proven to enlarge a man’s penis by 2 inches and 80% of our male population start buying elephants, freakin’ let them.  Do what makes you feel good about being healthy and happy.  We are all going to die and most of us are going to get some form of cancer.

So be merry and eat your god damn elephant shit!

Santiago Out.

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Good Food or Good Health?

“I’m training for a fitness competition” always seems to come up in conversation with almost anyone I talk to now a days.  Maybe I’m bragging or maybe I just have this little thing called pride to be able to go after something that many people won’t dare try.   Regardless, it has been a struggle and I would be lying if I said this process has been done 100% perfectly.  I strive every day for that 100% and sometimes I make it and some times I don’t. But in order to change you have to try right?

Some where along the conversation I always hear, “I want to be able to lose ___lbs, but I don’t want to get on some crazy diet or have to stop eating ___.”  First of all, you can still look better and enjoy your naughty foods, but what these people are saying is they don’t want to give up naughty foods for more than a day and I completely understand.  But at some point you have to think about what you want more – fit body or naughty food?

Here is the thing we all want to have our cake and eat it too, but that cannot happen with fitness.  You don’t need to prep for a competition but if you want to change your body you have to change your habits.  If you don’t want to change your habits then your body remains the same. Trust me, I know; It is a struggle I deal with daily.  You would think after all this training I would have it by now but I still fight my old habits.

You can’t say you want to lose 20 lbs without going to the gym and eating pizza.  You definitely can’t say you want to tone up but don’t want to have to live without your daily take out or frozen meals.  And blaming time for your lack of motivation to change your life doesn’t work because when will time every free up to be a better you?

You need to decide what is most important;  How you are going to feel with a life long 6 pack? Or how you are going to feel after you finish your 6 pack of beer?  Whatever choice you make is fine but you cannot have both.  And the sooner you accept it the least irritated I’ll be in having a diet discussion with you. So figure it out.

xoxo

Kristine

My New Challenge

I’ve been MIA for a while, I know. Lately it has been hard to put my thoughts into words. I’ve been struggling with a lot of things that have effected my training but I’m still pushing through. I also switched coaches, which is a good thing but we can save that for another post.

What I want to talk about is the new challenge I’ve set for myself: no pictures or mirrors until 4 weeks out! Why? Because I’m becoming obsessed again. I’m obsessed with my body fat, obsessed with the 8 weeks left, obsessed with what I am “suppose” to look like and this obsession is creating anxiety which makes me want to eat. The more I want to eat, the more I do eat, the more I do eat, the more guilt and anxiety I created and the cycle repeats because I only have 8 weeks left.

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I’m losing the fun part of training and before this gets bad I made the decision to cover the mirror in my room and will not take any pics until 4 weeks out to see my progress. And I’ll continue till I get to the show. I’ll still need the mirror for posing, so while I am at home ill pose in black leggings and tank top so i can only see my silhouette and won’t focus on “what needs to go”. At posing practice I will be in a bikini but I’m going to just have to do my best in that situation.

Thanks again for all the support! This would be ten times harder without you!!!

xoxo
Kristine

Yes, this really happened.

Oh kids, my 12 week mark was a hot mess. First off, 12 weeks is usually when everyone starts training so there really is no room for error and there was error written all over that week. My old mentality came back to haunt me and let me tell you, I am tired of talking about my god damn feelings with my SPC and I am tired of being angry, feeling hurt and wanting to straight up cut a bitch. But ya know, sometimes you just have to let go and let God. Wait, no…let go and let blog. Ah yes, much better.

Lately I have been noticing that with every let down I’ve face something good immediately follows after. It is really interesting how everything plays out and I am developing a new appreciation for life and my “plan”. I mean, just as you are hammering the last nail on that whore’s coffin another one opens.

Uhh…what?

Well, when you develop a relationship with someone you never really think that one day your feelings and what you would have defined as a “friendship” would have been left with little respect. I didn’t think “I never want to get on your bad side” was code for “I’ll avoid you because I don’t care enough but I will still like stuff on your facebook and act like we are cool.” I never really understood what was meant by my “bad side”. Don’t we all have a “bad side” or am I just the only one who doesn’t avoid something when it comes to fixing the issue even if the issue is one sided? Eh, but what do I know? That shit is dead any way so no point in figuring that out.

Side Rant: What the fuck is up with people liking the shit out of my facebook? Acting like they know my life but can’t acknowledge a bitch via cellular. Like hop off my dick, fuck nugget! Ain’t nobody got time for dat!

Anywho, in that same weekend of mass chaos and furry, I received a text from one of my teammates and new friend, a friend I’ve never met in person, letting me know that she has requested off work the same weekend of my competition. If she can get off from work, she plans on taking a trip out to come support my first time on stage. This little whore lives in San Diego and she is thinking of going to NJ to come watch my debut and visit her fam at the same time! It really is amazing the relationships that I’ve been developing through this training and the amount of support I have been receiving from girls I haven’t even met yet.

So here I am learning to let go (and let blog). Some people will just never be who they say they are or maybe they have been themselves all along and I refused to see it. Maybe I’ve changed; some may say for the worst and I may say go fuck yourself. I guess you just never really know a person until they like your shit on facebook.

 

xoxo

Kristine

 

Yes, this really happened.

Oh kids, my 12 week mark was a hot mess. First off, 12 weeks is usually when everyone starts training so there really is no room for error and there was error written all over that week. My old mentality came back to haunt me and let me tell you, I am tired of talking about my god damn feelings with my SPC and I am tired of being angry, feeling hurt and wanting to straight up cut a bitch. But ya know, sometimes you just have to let go and let God. Wait, no…let go and let blog. Ah yes, much better.

Lately I have been noticing that with every let down I’ve face something good immediately follows after. It is really interesting how everything plays out and I am developing a new appreciation for life and my “plan”. I mean, just as you are hammering the last nail on that whore’s coffin another one opens.

Uhh…what?

Well, when you develop a relationship with someone you never really think that one day your feelings and what you would have defined as a “friendship” would have been left with little respect. I didn’t think “I never want to get on your bad side” was code for “I’ll avoid you because I don’t care enough but I will still like stuff on your facebook and act like we are cool.” I never really understood what was meant by my “bad side”. Don’t we all have a “bad side” or am I just the only one who doesn’t avoid something when it comes to fixing the issue even if the issue is one sided? Eh, but what do I know? That shit is dead any way so no point in figuring that out.

Side Rant: What the fuck is up with people liking the shit out of my facebook? Acting like they know my life but can’t acknowledge a bitch via cellular. Like hop off my dick, fuck nugget! Ain’t nobody got time for dat!

Anywho, in that same weekend of mass chaos and furry, I received a text from one of my teammates and new friend, a friend I’ve never met in person, letting me know that she has requested off work the same weekend of my competition. If she can get off from work, she plans on taking a trip out to come support my first time on stage. This little whore lives in San Diego and she is thinking of going to NJ to come watch my debut and visit her fam at the same time! It really is amazing the relationships that I’ve been developing through this training and the amount of support I have been receiving from girls I haven’t even met yet.

So here I am learning to let go (and let blog). Some people will just never be who they say they are or maybe they have been themselves all along and I refused to see it. Maybe I’ve changed; some may say for the worst and I may say go fuck yourself. I guess you just never really know a person until they like your shit on facebook.

 

xoxo

Kristine

 

Holy Butt Nuggets!

So much is happening that I don’t know what to do with myself!

1. I deleted my personal facebook account. I made this decision because I am finding myself too distracted with things and certain individuals on da book.  I’m allowing these distractions take away from my training because I can’t shut my mind off from it. So in order to stay focused I made the choice to delete the page for now.  Don’t fret, I’ll get back on in August.   In the mean time I created a facebook page for my blog where I will continue to add updates regarding my training.  Anything I do online I want it to be goal related.  With that said if you have not already “liked” the page here is the link for your liking enjoyment.  Go nuts: Beauty in the Buff’s Facebook Page

2. My sister and her fiancé (so weird saying that) suggested I start vlogging.  It’s actually something I have thought about and I even made a youtube channel for when I am ready try it out.  My hesitations and insecurities with vlogging are basically no different than they were when I started my blog.  So I am just going to have to jump right in and go nuts with it.  However, it certainly wouldn’t hurt if you had any suggestions of specific topics you want to see.

3. Most exciting news of all! I have briefly mentioned that I was going to be writing an article for an online magazine.  Actually maybe I haven’t…I am going to be writing an article for an online magazine!  The article is based on my decision to compete and an overview of what has been happening.  If the article gets a good response I will do a 6 week follow up with them and a final competition post.  It will be going live on June 4th and I am nervous-excited about this. I don’t consider myself a writer and I am still shocked when people tell me they like my blog. And here I am, challenging myself in another unknown way in hopes to get good feedback.  What is going on with my life? Who am I right now?

As it gets closer I will definitely update you on where you can catch my article but in the mean time be prepared for some minor freakout insecure moments.  They will happen.

Despite these great things my training has sucked.  I’ve been mentally suffering but slowly coming back.  My motivation is low, very low. I’m just going through the motions without any purpose and it is killing me inside because I am the 12 week mark.  Typically 12 weeks is when people start training and even though there are other first timers like me who started further out than that, in my head I keep thinking, “all of my competition is going hard now. No room for error!” Unfortunately this week has been error filled and it is stressing me out.  I know I need to let it go, brush off the day and keep moving forward.  I also know that I will be able to do that but I just needed it to happen yesterday.

Despite my mental break downs and crazy moments, I keep reminding myself that I am right where I should be.  Things like this article and blog are becoming constant reminders that good things are happening so don’t give up!

I won’t. I may get a little crazy, but I won’t give up.  Not this time.

xoxo

Kristine

Relentless Forward Motion

Oh kids…mommy had a break down.

I don’t know if it is because I’ve reopened unresolved issues with my sports psychologist and now my hidden emotions have resurfaced or if it is because my damn period is all thrown off and my hormones are out of control.  It could be a combo of both but I am pretty sure the first one plays a heavy toll on how I have been feeling the past couple days.

This cloud has been hanging over my head since last week and each day it got darker and darker.  Saturday I semi snapped and cheated on my diet. I was able to bounce back but it was a wavering fight.  But yesterday, oh yesterday…the crazy came out and I was at a point of no return. I felt like the same person I was months ago and I completely abused my body with straight starvation and an ungly binge.

After my beating I came home and metaphorically curled up in fetal position as my inner mean girl continue to kick me above the ear, nose and throat. (That’s a line from “Will & Grace” by the way. Best. Show. Ever.)  And as I laid in my bed mentally sobbing I stumbled across this on Instagram…

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I read it and stopped breathing, literally. I’ve never felt so inspired by a quote before. Yea, I’ve related to quotes before, but this one….this one punched me in the gut and has left a mark.

This morning I got up, unmotivated, but continued the motions in getting ready for my fasted cardio.  And through the process I remembered this pictured and I thought back on how I have lived my life.  I had two choices: I could stay this girl, this mean ugly girl, or find a way to kick that bitch in face with new-found muscular legs.

and well…

I knocked that motha fucka out…She ain’t winning this one! Boop!

relentless.forward.motion

xoxo

Kristine