I’ve been MIA for a while, I know. Lately it has been hard to put my thoughts into words. I’ve been struggling with a lot of things that have effected my training but I’m still pushing through. I also switched coaches, which is a good thing but we can save that for another post.
What I want to talk about is the new challenge I’ve set for myself: no pictures or mirrors until 4 weeks out! Why? Because I’m becoming obsessed again. I’m obsessed with my body fat, obsessed with the 8 weeks left, obsessed with what I am “suppose” to look like and this obsession is creating anxiety which makes me want to eat. The more I want to eat, the more I do eat, the more I do eat, the more guilt and anxiety I created and the cycle repeats because I only have 8 weeks left.
I’m losing the fun part of training and before this gets bad I made the decision to cover the mirror in my room and will not take any pics until 4 weeks out to see my progress. And I’ll continue till I get to the show. I’ll still need the mirror for posing, so while I am at home ill pose in black leggings and tank top so i can only see my silhouette and won’t focus on “what needs to go”. At posing practice I will be in a bikini but I’m going to just have to do my best in that situation.
Thanks again for all the support! This would be ten times harder without you!!!