I can’t help but feel insecure. I’m 11 weeks out and I’m freaking myself out. I’m retaining a lot of water which messes with my head and it’s pissing me off. I know it’s temporary but it doesn’t help me think clearly.
I look in the mirror and all I see this skinny-fat, scrawny, wannabe, that will never make it to the stage. I know, I know. You don’t need to lecture me on how ridiculous my thoughts are. I am aware that they are unrealistic, i get it.
Last week I made mistakes and this week I am back on track. However it doesn’t take away the anxiety of me wanting to starve myself and skip meals or binging and then going for a long run. I’m in my head, I know. But I can’t help it. I am having a moment.