I have a brow to pick with you

I am not really sure when this pet peeve developed, but nothing irritates me more than jacked up eyebrows.  Whether it be on a man or woman, retarded brows can really chap my ass.
                                                                  Pencil Brows

I have to say I am a fan of Megan Good’s beauty (notice I say beauty, not acting).  This girl is stunning. Cheek bones, smile, lips, her eyes… I mean God really put some nice features together.  But good Lord, those eye brows…I hate PENCIL BROWS! I know there are women who don’t have the full brow gene, but that does not mean it is acceptable to look like you took a marker across your face.  I hate  when I look at a women’s face and think to myself  “did she shave all her brow hair and use pencil or is that a tattoo?”  It drives me insane. My old bitch of a boss had the worst pencil brows and they were in a hideous rainbow arch shape. I think her eye brows made me hate her even more. Whore.

The Unruly Brow
These women are actually lucky that they have so much hair to play with it.  I am sure some may see nothing wrong with this, but I cannot stand the hair stragglers.  Jesus Christ, take a small comb and trim the bitches.  You wouldn’t believe the difference it makes when you trim the hair. I do it and when I am done I look like a new woman. Seriously, it makes a differences. So girls if you have fluffy brows, take a brow comb and comb the hair up in their their natural direction. Which ever hair strands are sticking out above your brow shape, CUT IT! The End.

It is 2013 so why are there still unibrows?  Let me tell you something, I love Travis McCoy. I think his edge and “I don’t give a shit” look is quite sexy. I love the tattys, piercings, nappy hair and the “I haven’t showered in 5 days” look on him.  Not everyone can pull this off but it works for him.  I guess you can say he is my brown version of Johnny Depp.  I also met him once at MTV’s New Years Eve party and he touched my arm and oh my god, I almost passed out like a Michael Jackson fan.  Anyway, that’s not the point. He is sexy but the extra hair has got to go.  Just because I find him attractive doesn’t make his eye brows are any less irritating. Wax, thread, pluck, singe them off for all I care, but do something about it.  
Speaking of doing something about….

Overdone Brows
I know some men are genetically “gifted” with lots of eye brow hair and I use the word gifted loosely.  I can really appreciate when a man grooms his face because it shows that he cares and not grooming is never really an option.  I don’t know if it was The Gays that started the trend and the “metros” just jumped on the band wagon, but unless you are trying to go with a feminine look then you need to know when to put down the tweezers.
  1. If your eye brow shape is better than mine, meaning more define and precise, then put the tweezers down.
  2. If you are naturally dark, like the guy above, and after you have done your brows and the skin surrounding your new brow shape is lighter than the rest of your face, then you have gone too far.  Put the tweezers down.
  3. If you have to let your eye brow hair grow out to get it waxed or threaded and the stubbies are clearly visible. Put the damn tweezers down.
  4. There is a reason why those two images feature Hispanic men.  I am not sure what happened to my people, but some where in the process of Americanizing our Hispanic culture we have come across the overly pretty Hispanic men.  So if you are mocha and you do your brows, please take a look in the mirror. Put. The. Tweezers. Down.
Please America, take care of your eyebrows.  They are the first thing people see and the last thing people remember.  Your eye brows shape your look and you will be harshly judged. If you are a masculine man then maintain some masculine eye brows.  If you are a woman with little hair, do your best to make them look natural and if you cannot draw, get a freakin stencil or have someone do it for you. But do not leave your house with permanent angry eye brows or squigglies because it is just not cute. #hotmess.org
Well I feel better now….

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